Christmas has been postponed until further notice, didn't you get the memo?

19 days before Christmas, and so far, I still have to feel its spirit dawning on me. Is it age? Is it the pessimism? Commercialism? whatever is it, I think I have outgrown christmas. Don't blame me, i still have to find my old self, search for that childlike wonder I used to have. Christmas of yesteryears were made of new clothes, new pair of shoes, Christmas fair at the school ground or in Big Bang Sa Alabang (so '80s), classroom christmas party and the "monito monita/kris kringle", carolling with friends using flattened "tansan" (bottle tincap) strung together by a wire as musical instrument, empty Nido can covered with plastic and tied with a rubber band as drum, happy to receive 25 centavos from people. Now, maybe that I am older, I could buy a lot of stuff and don't have to wait for Christmas to buy them, and since I don't have a regular job, I don't do christmas exchange giifts but still do the rounds of office parties (other friends), christmas shopping for godchildren ( i lost count so far) and the dawn masses (de rigeur). Now, I look forward to spending the holidays in some exotic places (Bahamas? Europe? Maldives?) but never get to go due to budget constraints (too much pre-Christmas shopping) and again, spending Christmas eve alone watching on DVD "Breakfast At Tiffany's, While You Were Sleeping, Sleepless In Seattle, An Affair To Remember" (year in, year out). Times have changed and we got tired of the usual Christmas chores, now, instead of me going to godparents, I am now the godparent and there's a reversal of role. Now, instead of waiting for Noche Buena dinner, I am the one preparing them ( and I am thinking of doing hotel dinner with room to boot to save on cost and workload), at least I don't get to glaze the christmas ham, I buy them glazed ( i miss that christmas tradition at home, my father was good at that). Anyway, can't hardly wait for next Christmas, maybe there's something new to look forward to. I rather do sleep over this season and wait for the new year, I love making plans for the coming year, bigger! better! yet, always a plan. Hahaha! At least I did the planning.