It’s raining hard again, and can’t help but be sentimental since I got out of bed, maybe it’s the weather. It brings back memories of innocence gone, something that can’t be brought back. I miss the days when I wade in a flooded street and running in the heavy downpour, catching cute black tadpoles that would eventually lose their tails and become frogs. I was under the impression that those were fish and I tried my darn best to let them be forever tadpoles but I ended up in vain. The call of the mall was totally unheard of, since there were only 4 choices, either Harrison Plaza, Quad, Ali Mall or Guadalupe Commercial Center (yes Virginia! There were theatres and semblance of a mall in Guadalupe since it sits next to Bel Air and Forbes Park). Tadpoles were my prized possessions then, while now, J.P. Tod’s sits high in the list. Times were spent in the streets until dark unlike now that I while my time in air conditioned malls. Getting prized properties were centered in the simple game of “piko” and “step no, step yes” (hopscotch), I usually end up with the most houses back then and now, I don’t even own one. Accumulating lots of goma (rubber bands) and text (game cards) were the rule of the day, “Isa! Dalawa! Cha!, Dangkalin mo na at sobrang dami kung magbibilang tayo! (stop counting and just measure it using your thumb and pointfinger since that’s a lot).
Rainy days were my happiest days because I get to curl up in bed and smell the comforting pillow while reading books. Now that I am turning 33, I have gotten used to the idea of equally dividing my calendar into 3 seasons, the moonson, holiday and summer, 4 months for each season. That way, times flies so fast and boredom is avoided. As a child, I get up at 6 a.m. for my classes, and breakfast of cheese, sausages and hot pandesal paired with Ovaltine was a surefire formula to start my day. I was such an addict for Purefoods, with their Voltes V promo, our fridge was a collage of stickers of Steve, James, Big Bert, Litlle John and Jaime. I made sure that I would be the one to open the tin foil of the Ovaltine can to get the premium toy, which were little plastic cars. Eventually, my loyalty switched to Milo for the plastic Olympic toys. As early as 5, I was such a sucker for soda, Coke and Rodeo were favorites, then Mellow Yellow was introduced. It used to be sold at 20 centavos, beat that. Frostee and homemade ice candies were my early training for sucking, no pun intended. When I was in Grade 1, my mom had to convince me to let go of drinking milk from the baby bottle, which I had to outgrow given that I was entering primary school. Again, an early indication that I would prefer sucking over other form of sex. When I was presented to the registrar of the primary school, I was asked to reach for my left ear with my hand extended over my head. I was able to do it and that served as a proof that I was ready for primary school. Goodbye kindergarten school, hello primary school. I would miss my first crush, his name was Howard and I love the idea of him coming over to play with me or me going to his house to play. Then I met my 2nd crush in grade 1, and I made sure that whatever is left from my 50 centavos allowance, I alloted a portion for Marty, that was the name of my 2nd crush. Not a good indication of what would I do in the coming years. Imagine, a 5 year old kid who had a making of a “sugar mommy”, an azucarera de mama, por dios por mio! Pronto! The smelling salt Tonto! My son is gay!
I do remember vividly that when I was in grade 2, my teacher placed a masking tape on my mouth to prevent me from chitchatting with my seatmate. By then, I knew I had the gift of gab. At an early age, excellence was something I swear by. I made sure that my test scores were the highest, if not, at least one of the top five. A sense of pride enveloped me whenever the teacher call out my name first during distribution of test papers, because I would be the source of envy among classmates. I made sure that I volunteer for extra work, either as simple chore of erasing the board or bringing out the trash can whenever the janitor arrives for pick-up. When I was in grade 4, I ended up winning a news feature essay writing tilt, and I was chosen to represent the school in the city division contest. Sadly, a better writer from another school received the plum prize. From grade 5 to secondary level, I was a consistent gold medalist for History and General Information quiz bees. I dreamed of joining Kilometrico Quiz Bee hosted by the late Helen Vela over at channel 9. That was the start of me as a walking trivia, a sponge who absorbed all things that I had read, an Ernie Baron in the making that ended up as Inday Badiday since I am the biggest gossip hound this side of the planet.
During summer, I had no choice but to drink Pop or Sarsi since it was the only brand distributed in Pampanga where I spend my summer. Electrcity was something reserved for cities such as Metro Manila and even if Pampanga was just a mere 50 kilometers away, at night time, car batteries were the source of power to make the TV work, and Colemans were the source of illumination. Catching dragonflies and grasshoppers in the rice fields was a daily activity during summer, and dipping by the brook was a satisfying treat. Ferris wheel and caterpillar were reserved during Christmases at the old Philcite (now Star City), school fairs and in the summer, during provincial town fiestas. The only pastime that involvcd heights back then was climbing big guava and mango trees. Despite the threat of big red ants and snakes lurking in those trees, climbing them gave me a sense of exhilaration.
Then college came and went, 4 years of studying in an institution known for its claim as the oldest catholic university in Asia, an oxymoron since the Philippines is the only predominantly catholic country in Asia, it was an exciting experience. University Of Sto. Tomas sits in a sprawling tract of land, and it has a semblance of Oxford given that the edifices were old and big. There is a big soccer field that transforms into ROTC parade grounds on Sundays. The soccer field was my favorite place to hang out, since I was enamored with goodlooking soccer players. My love affair with basketball was limited to my neighborhood, and I didn’t pay much attention to the basketball players, soccer players rocked my world then. Seeing them with their muddied socks and uniforms, I could’t help but imagine that I would be giving them a bath after every game. Another factor was the Close-Up commercial starring Raffy Ladao and Raya Roa with a Gino Padilla song, “You And I”, I can’t help but daydream that my knight-in-shining armor would be a soccer player. My biggest crush then is now a soccer coach in PAREF Southridge, he was a Jayvee Gayoso lookalike, his name, Manolo. I even took the chance to get stranded in school overnight even If I could go home if I wanted to. UST got flooded one rainy day and I jumped on the opportunity to spend the night with Manolo in a room, although with 30 other classmates inside the room. So much for quality time, I let the idea of a chance sex encounter to be drowned in the murky flood waters of Espana. The rain stopped next day and the waters subsided, if only that rainy night with Manolo happened now, I could have been lucky due to the fact that I am no longer the naïve and shy homosexual. Now that I am older, I know what I want and I know how to get it, even if the price is too steep to pay, figuratively and literally speaking.
Friends, thank you very much for the encouraging words that you sent me, I am so humbled that you took the time to read my entries. I am so touched that you get to appreciate one of my passion and I hope it is a God-given talent. Writing this blog is an escape from solitary confinement, thru this, I get to express my thoughts, and God knows I have a lot running in my mind every waking moments. Maybe I am undergoing my mid-life crises period or maybe I am just a sentimental fag, err, fool.
I would try my best to be entertaining, because the basic rule of writing is knowing that the readers are intelligent beings, they could tell bullshit from phony ones, not much difference though…
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