Today, I spent the day writhing in pain. For the past few days, I am down with a flu virus. It has been some time since I had flu and this gave me a chance to think I am still invincible. The pain was unbearable so I had no choice but to bring myself to the emergency room of Makati Med, and I am telling you, this is not the first time I brought myself, alone, into the E.R. Conversation with the attending physician is verbatim:
Doctor: Are you allergic to any medications?
Me: No…
Doctor: Smoker? Frequency of consumption?
Me: Yup! A pack for 2 days..
Doctor: Substance abuse problem?
Me: Does that include shopping addiction?
Doctor: Last time you saw a doctor? Operations?
Me: I had a tube attached to my left lung 2 years ago to drain water and avoid infection. I got stabbed 7 times.
Doctor: Assault?
Me: Attempted rape..No..attempted robbery.
Doctor: Do you know any doctors here in Makati Med?
Me: Yup. My E.E.N.T., Dr. Ongsiako, and that doctor that treated my STD.
Doctor: STD?
Me: Not really an STD, according to him, it was strepcocci.
Doctor: You mean gonococci?
Me: Strep, I contacted it from an infected throat, strepcocci.
Doctor: Ahhh. What medication did he give?
Me: Antibiotics, the most powerful one on this side of the planet.
Doctor: You said your right arm is in terrible pain?
Me: Yup. I even lost my sex drive due to the flu. I use my right arm to masturbate.
Doctor: You are quite sexual..
Me: No, I am just honest.
No comments:
Post a Comment