Songs..

Sometimes, life imitates art. I have always wondered where those songwriters get their cheesy lyrics, full of saccharine-coated love. Tonight, I have found out that, yes, those songs were based from real life experiences. I have started dating a new guy, and unfortunately, he was a basketball player, make that a past tense since he used to be with the varsity team with my ex. I never thought that I will be a self-confessed groupie, heck, I even dated the whole basketball team (to paraphrase Weird “Al” Yankovic’s line, “When you slept with the entire football team”, yup, I am guilty). And with new relationships come excess emotional baggage, as in all those previous disappointments with your ex comes up with your present (I can hear “Torn” playing in the background as sung by Natalie Imbruglia). And as much as I want to take this guy seriously, I can’t help but yearn for the one that is no longer with me (to the tune of Luther Vandross “I’d Rather”, you know, “I’d rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else..). I have to admit, this person I am going out is far better than my ex, he walks the dogs with me, we do things together such as hanging out in malls, sharing sundae floats in McDonald’s, he even invited me to his house. Unfortunately, I am in this stubborn state wherein I want the old times with the previous guy. Maybe it is the fear of having my heart broken again that is stopping me, at least, with the ex, he was the one who broke it and he could break it over and over again, practice makes perfect. Twisted logic, yeah! I failed my logic subject back in college, go and shoot me for being illogical. However, the fear of the unknown is setting in, and I thought I was fearless. I kept singing “Irreplaceable” by Beyonce as well as “Me, Myself And I” over and over again, and heightened it with Destiny’s Child “Survivor”, you know, “I won’t diss you on the internet because my mama taught me better than that”, well I am guilty of dissing my ex on the net, proof? You are reading about it now and staring at his photo. Out of desperation, I clicked all of his friends in his Friendster’s List to let them know that I am that faggot that was used by their friend, and I am praying that his new girlfriend finds it out. And on handsight, I wish I didn’t do that, you know, as sung by someone, “Don’t show them that you’re hurting, Carry your pride…”. Well, the deed has been done, and I will try my best to move on. Mr. Barry Manilow has all the songs for the brokenhearted, “Trying To Get The Feeling Again”, “Somewhere Down The Road”, “Even Now”, and the list goes on, but the best line I got today? I read it while hearing mass, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted..”, that was the responsorial psalm in the mass, and I take it by heart. I trust the Lord when it comes to my life, because He made me as a work of art.