Free WiFi and everything else..God is good...

I have no cable, i didn't avail of cable when I moved to my new place. For reasons ranging from saving up (hey! P1,000 a month for cable service amounts to P12,000 in a year or P60,000 in 6 years) to health reasons (too much TV deprives one's self of proper sleep, without cable, I get to bed early). I survived my 7 years in my previous residence with cable, free at that, for which I am thankful, the previous tenant forgot to have it disconnected and the cable company has an expired lease with the building, thus it cannot enter the premises to disconnect the cables, lucky me. For the past 2 years, I am cable-free, i didn't even know that my TV has UHF channels until recently, when I tried channel surfing up to 100 pretending it has cable. Sad to say, I have discovered You Tube, and boy, I love it. I get to watch shows I have missed, such as showbiz talkshows and preview of upcoming episodes for Prison Break. I get free WiFi, thanks to generous neighbors who forget to put a lock code on their WiFi services, so I get to surf the internet until kingdom come starting midnight til the wee hours of the morning. I get to see Beyonce's latest videos thru You Tube, that's why MTV is fast losing viewership, internet is the wave of the future. Entertainment is so readily available via the internet, and really, I am thankful that I don't have a working credit card, God knows what I am capable of buying thru the net, imagine, team owner Marc Cuban bought a private jet thru the net, the most expensive purchase done via E-Commerce. Recently, I started a seller's account in www.eBay.ph, it is called luxereseller, and I have been posting goodies that I need to sell to raise money (readers, please check it out, as they say, one's trash could be another person's valuable find). At times, I am so lazy to get out, I just do my meetings over the phone and e-mail the qoutes to clients who are interested to avail of my PR services. God is really good, He knows that I haven't been paying my mortgages for the past 3 months. Lo and behold, help is on the way. I have well-meaning friends who are calling me for projects, for biddings. I am still praying for the projects to materialize, but I am really looking forward to get one soon, for the meantime, I will pray harder. At times, I am really tempted to e-mail my friends especially those who are in the United States and ask for at least US$100 as a loan, at least if I get to borrow from 5 friends, that is US$500, and I will just pay them once I have recovered. Better judgment tells me otherwise, I have so much payables, the iBook G4 I am using while typing this blog is still unpaid, the water I am using to bath the dogs and me is still unpaid, the electricity I am using while charging my laptop/phones and lighting my numerous lamp shades (yellow light softens one's feature, I hate white lights) is still unpaid for, the association dues to be able to use the pool, elevators, gym, and everything else is still unpaid. What the heck, I am really tempted to jump off the 28th floor window of my room, but I am too old to commit suicide, I am 33, suicidal tendencies usually end up at around 23. Besides, who will take care of my two dogs when I am gone. Maternal instinct dictates that I should keep going for the sake of my dogs, I don't think fathers think that way, they will just see that babies are born, then let the mother take care of the babies afterward. I grew up with a father and when l I finished college, he was still around. Now, he has decided to raise kids with a new woman, since he was already able to sire 4 kids from my mom, so it was time to move on. Sadly, my mom hasn't moved on, she still addresses him as if he would still be coming back. I always remind her that let him go, he has to raise 4 kids with another woman, at least my mom has to nobody to feed except herself since we are all grown up, my sister and me ( my mom lost already 2 offsprings). I have accepted the fact that I am maturing way fast I have expected and coping with life's challenges with a Nobel Prize-winning act like John Nash, who has schizoprenia. I am tempted to learn a new dialect or language since I have read in the newspapers that according to scientific research, speaking 2 languages can be a solution to avoid dementia, the clinical term for insanity or madness. I know English, Tagalog, a little Bisaya, am I safe? Is it demented to cry while watching “Wish Ko Lang” and feel thankful that I have so much while others have so little. Last Saturday, I cried a river not over Hope’s revelation about James Yap, I cried over “Wish Ko Lang”, about this twin sisters that grew up separately without each other’s knowledge that they are twins. They were finally reunited ater 18 long years. The next feature was about this former PBA player who lost all his income and investments since he has to take care of his wife who has become mentally ill. He said this in vernacular, “Kagustuhan ng Diyos lahat ng nangyari sa amin, pinatikim nya kami ng buhay na masagana, ngayon ba't tagdahop kami, kakalimutan ko ang tumawag sa kanya? Ang buhay, hindi lagi sa ibabaw, minsan nasa ilalim din, basta ‘wag ka gagawa ng masama, ok lang, wag ka magnanakaw, makakaraos din sa awa ng Diyos” (“It is the Lord’s will whatever has happened, He gave us before a life full of blessings and now that we have nothing, why should I forget to call up on Him. Life is a cycle, sometimes you are up, sometimes you are down, as long as you won’t do anything bad such as stealing, this too shall pass with the Lord’s grace”). Luckily, PBA has a trust fund for children of retired players. The ex-PBA player who is around 50 years old has a daughter who is studying to be a doctor in Manila. Based from how the daughter speaks highly of her parents, one can’t help but be envious of their optimism, it is contagious. The daughter told the viewers that she didn’t expect that one day, they will be facing extreme poverty. She has to adjust to reality, and thankful that she has a loving set of parents. As a treat, the show brought the ex-PBA player to Manila to watch a PBA game in Araneta, where he used to play, and be reunited with his former coaches and team mates. My eyes welled up with tears and kept crying non-stop. Here is a man who has tasted good fortune and lost everything, it is of biblical proportion, something comparable to Job's story. As a cliche goes, "If life throws you lemon, better be prepared to know how to prepare lemonade." I don’t feel animosity towards my father, whatever life I have now, it is my decision to pursue this lifestyle. I even remembered once, it was New Year’s Eve, I didn’t get to spend Christmas with my family since I fell in love and decided to co-habit with my first BF when I was 19, he nonchalantly asked from what province did my BF hail from. I replied that he was from Pampanga, to which he said, “Kababayan pala ng nanay mo, eh ‘di mayabang.” (“what a coincidence, he is your mother’s provincematte, I bet he is a show off”.) My father has been accepting that he has a gay son as far as I can remember. That is why I didn’t have to hide anything growing up, it was a nurturing environment where our parents let us be with whatever life we want to live although my mother is still hearing mass daily until today praying for a miracle to happen, that I finally marry a girl. Acceptance, faith in God and belief about the goodness of others, sharing, empathy, optimism, forgiveness, I guess these qualities should be seen on TV, enough of inanities about infidelity, infighting, vindictiveness. When a wife said to an accuser that “You have no right to say I am sorry”, for someone who goes to Baclaran every Tuesday to say that, is it the Christian thing to do? I don’t want to judge a book by its cover, I will buy plastic first to cover it. Or better yet, do not judge my brother for he is not a book.