Tomorrow...

Chinese New Year celebration was good. As always, I went to Mandarin Oriental to welcome the Year of the Fire Pig, everyone was in red and the geomancy about the coming year was upbeat. I blindly bought the usual lucky charms and lighted incense, and I got lucky, I got to eat in Tin Hau Grill for free, I hope that augurs well for the Chinese New Year. To be honest, I am starting to hate Chinese people, and it has turned into full-blown xenophobia. Recent developments as stated in my previous blogs involved Chinese who are greedy, but I have to move on. I started moving on, as a matter of fact, I am trying to lose weight I have gained from the past 2 years. I bought a stovepipe pants, the skinny type, to create an illusion of slimness. I also started cleaning out my closet, and also, to be able to raise much-needed funds. I can’t help but remember Mrs. Imelda Marcos when she was asked about skeletons in her closet, she nonchalantly replied, “I was happy they found shoes instead of skeletons when they opened my closet”. Mrs. Marcos doesn’t stop to amuse me and the rest of the world, as a matter of fact, she has a full-page write up in the February 2007 issue of Vanity Fair and another one is coming out in W magazine in line with her “Imelda” collection. And guess what I found when I opened my closet, shoes, lots of shoes. So far, I have sold 10 pairs in a span of 15 days, and I still have a lot left. I posted “For Sale” signs in the internet thru eBay.ph as well as thru the condominium’s bulletin board and by text brigade. I have also started selling my bag collection, first to go was a Miu Miu satchel bag won by an eBay member based in Singapore, and I will be parting with my Louis Vuitton Porte-Document Voyage anytime soon. If the Marcoses had to say goodbye to their crown jewels, I have to part with my little crown jewels. I haven’t paid my rent for the past 3 months and I have to be creative as how to raise cash pronto. I remembered 4 to 5 years ago, I even had to dance naked for wedding showers just to earn a little cash. I have also resurrected my small business as well as attending biddings for PR projects, and started doing VTRs for TV commercials (actually, no VTRs required, I just text my agent friend and she is more happy to give me “extra” jobs, thank you friend!). I even started selling unused stuff from my bathroom, L’ Oreal Kerastase, Swarzkopf, Polo Ralph Lauren, Acqua Di Parma, Appa Kappa supplies. I can’t imagine that I have accumulated stuff that I do not really need, maybe I just bought them out of a “whim-of-the-moment” craziness. This is what you call “purging”. 40 days before Easter Sunday, and after Ash Wednesday, I stopped drinking Coca-Cola as an act of penance. I am giving it up for the Lord, and also, to help me cut down on my calorie intake. I have started reading “The Purpose Driven Life” and I know that this “drought” in my life shall pass. What won’t kill you will only make you stronger, and I have been thru more bad things in this life. The resolution to hear mass everyday is still strong as ever, and I am so happy that I am still on it. When I saw Tessa Prieto-Valdes in my weekly novena in Baclaran, she asked me how things are, if I would sue Converse for not paying me. I replied, “I will just charge it to experience.” In which she replied, “That is a very expensive experience!” And then she asked about my basketball player BF, and I said I am still playing with basketball players, not on court but off the court. My life is such as open book, almost everyone knows my life story, and I am not sure if in case I decide to write a book about it, no one will buy them because they have heard about it already. Redundant stories such as how I got stabbed 7 times, got assaulted by total strangers while waiting for a bus, had sex with almost 10,000 men and still counting, changed jobs every year, going to Boracay every Holy Week and getting wasted. Everyone’s saying that I am a survivor, especially those who knows me very well. Surviving is one thing, making things work is another thing. And for that, I place my trust in my Maker. I am only human and can only do so much, but with the Lord’s help and of well-meaning friends, I am confident that I am going to make it. Life is very simple, sometimes it is our fault that we make it too complicated. I wish everyday that everything goes away, my anxieties, my problems, but life will be boring without them. The perks of being jobless range from being able to walk the dogs 3 times a day, hear mass everyday, go to the mall everyday, laze around everyday. The past 6 years, I have divided my life into 3 seasons, composed of 4 months each. There is the UAAP/NCAA season starting by June, watching basketball players sweat it out while I fantasize about them), the Holidays, which starts by October and ends up in January ( waiting for unexpected gifts) and of course, summer season, which starts as early as March and ends up around June. Isn’t that so simple? Before I know it, the year has passed. I admit that I have to stop procrastinating and start picking up my ass from the couch, but can I do it tomorrow? …”The sun will come out, tomorrow, there will be no cobwebs, tomorrow….”